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December 25, 2012
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“I can’t believe we’re going to be late for our own wedding.” Jane Shepard huffed in annoyance. She blew a stray strand of her hair that had fallen free of her pony tail. She had it up today; their wedding planner had gotten a hair stylist to dress it up in this fancy bun to counter the lower cut wedding dress she had. Of course, John always thought she looked beautiful. It didn’t matter if her hair was up, down, or strewn out when she was asleep, he always found her radiant and alluring. Her emerald eyes had darkened substantially with agitation as she glowered toward him. “You know its bad form for the bride and groom to show up together John.” Jane snipped in a low growl of a voice.

John sank further into his seat in the sky car. He gripped the steering wheel tight and stared out at the sky trying to stay on course. “Come on Janie, you know I’m not good with dates.” He let out a pitiful sigh, waiting for her to smack him upside the head he winced in anticipation.

Jane huffed, crossing her arms and digging her nails into her skin. She scoffed and rolled her eyes instead. John suspected it was because she didn’t want to chip one of the very expensive nails their decorator had gone through the trouble of getting done for her. “Oh no, no, no John, that’s bull and you know it. You remembered Vakarian’s wedding date without a single problem.” Jane cast her gaze outside and her expression softened. “It’s because it’s for us isn’t it? You always put everyone ahead of yourself John. Is this your way of telling me you’ve got cold feet?” John was utterly taken back, his jaw physically dropped.

“Janie you know that’s….” He wrapped his hand around her wrist and pulled her toward him, crushing her in an embrace. “You know that isn’t true. Well…Most of it.” He chuckled when she elbowed him and grinned.

“I know. I suppose I figured as much. I wouldn’t have agreed to marry you if I didn’t know the trouble I was getting myself into.” She chuckled tenderly before she curled her hand into a fist and slammed it into John’s shoulder. “But that mister is for making me late to a very important day.”

John grinned and tried to ignore the now agonizing pain in his muscles as they immediately began to stiffen. Damn Jane was something else, but she had one hell of a left hook. He grimaced through a forced grin and rubbed his shoulder. Jane smirked in triumph. “Janie I’m sorry.” He batted his eyelashes and she snorted, rolling her eyes toward him once more the rest of the ride to the chapel was relatively uneventful.

“At least you remembered your suit. You get points for that one.” Jane quipped when they exited the sky car; both were anticipating a reception of agitated wedding goers and their planner in utter disarray. What awaited them was neither.

“Well, well, well if it isn’t the famous Commander Shepard.” A sketchy looking man stood before them. His finger trembled over the assault rifle that he had out in plain view. It rested against his fully armored chest as his eyes gleamed with malice. His unshaven face and patchy hair looked disgusting, as though he hadn’t bathed in weeks. The armor he wore was fully black with a red symbol on the front chest plate that both Jane and John recognized. Automatically and out of instinct John put his arm in front of Jane, pushing her behind him as he stared the man addressing specifically him down. “Oh and look at that, if it ain’t his little tramp of a girlfriend. Don’t think we haven’t forgotten what you did to us either sweetheart.” The man smirked arrogantly. He inclined his head with a nod toward the left of the chapel where an alley was that separated the church from the rest of the block

“What do you want?” John tried to remain calm, use that good ol’ “Commander Shepard” voice that he used whenever dealing with high tension situations. He hadn’t used that tone in what felt like years, back when they were still fighting the Reapers.

“Your girlfriend there still owes us money tough guy. We’re just looking to settle up.” The man sneered down at them; his cracked lips peeled back revealing a map of brown and yellow teeth in different stages of decay.

“Surely we can work something out boys.” Jane snorted from behind John’s shoulder, nudging past him. She crossed her arms and leaned on her left leg back toward the car. She tried to look as intimidating as possible, but John could see traces of fear in her otherwise haunting emerald eyes.

“Listen bitch.” He pointed an accusatory finger at Jane. The skin beneath his fingernails was so black the duo could see it from their position. “You owe Santiago a shipment of sand from twenty years ago. We ain’t looking for your pretty words. Don’t you think there’s something more…” The man stuck his tongue out and licked his lips in a predatory fashion. “Productive you can do with your mouth anyway honey?” He sniggered when Jane cringed.

John curled his hands at his side into fists. “No one talks to my wife that way.” He warned rolling the sleeves of his tuxedo up he hoped to spook the man without confrontation.

“Ooo watch out boys, we got us a big shot.” The man laughed, pulling the safety off his assault rifle off he tapped the barrel, as if to make sure there was ammunition inside. “We’re done talkin’ anyway.” As soon as the man pointed the assault rifle out, an entire group of men poured out from the alley, all adorned in the same black and red armor.

“Jane!” John cried out helplessly, but Jane was already ducked into their sky car, pistol in hand.

“Get down knucklehead.” Jane growled, yanking John into the sky car and out of the shower of bullets. She shoved an assault rifle into his chest, keeping her head low to avoid the glass shattering over head.

“Jane where did you…” John began to protest, looking at her in a bewildered fashion. She cocked a ‘not amused’ eyebrow at him, pointing toward the backseat. “Oh.” John muttered stupidly, rubbing the back of his neck as he tucked himself on the floor by the passenger seat.
The firefight persisted for what felt like an eternity. The grizzly looking man had yet to be taken down. He was injured, Jane had made sure of that, but not dead. The way he was barking orders at where to hit the car the two deduced he was the leader of the group. “Use the rocket launcher damn it!” They heard him shout, only having a moment to look at each other before they kicked the bullet ridden doors out and dove out of the car. They’d whittled the group down to less than a handful of troops when one pulled a rocket launcher off their back and fired it at the sky car with the man’s blessing. Jane dove to the left, John to the right.

The car exploded and all John heard was a scream of pain. His heart stopped and he froze. “Jane!” He cried aloud, ignoring his now bloodied face and his torn to shreds tuxedo he limped to the best of his ability toward the front of the car.

He found Jane tucked beneath the back end of the waiting limousine smirking devilishly. “Got the bastard right between the eyes.” She mumbled, allowing John to help her out of her makeshift foxhole. They leaned on each other for support, taking out the last few troops watching the last guy run away as though his pants were on fire. There was debris and smoke all throughout the parking lot and they were both covered in dirt when they stopped at the chapel steps. “Ready to get married now?” He mumbled against the top of her head, making her laugh softly and nod as he kissed her.

“We never get a day where something isn’t blowing up around us.” Jane replied as the both pushed the doors open to an astonished mob of their friends.
I want to thank :iconbloodbandit: for this awesome, lovely request!! :iconsobeautifulplz:

I just love it. God, kicking butt before your wedding day, one of the most important days of a couple's life. That's got to be a Shepard curse going around. No one can be totally free from ass kicking for one day if you're with one of the Shepards. :iconstudmuffinplz:

Hey, at least Jane's prepared to the fullest: a stack of guns in the backseat of their car. :icongreatjobplz:

Again, thank you so much Bandit! You don't know how much I love this lovely Christmas present!! :iconbrohugplz:
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:iconcelticwarriormoon:
CelticWarriorMoon Feb 20, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This reminds me of Sergeant Calhoun's (you know, the female soldier character in Disney's Wreck-it Ralph) backstory - just search a clip of it and watch! :XD:
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:iconyukiminamoto:
YukiMinamoto Feb 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
XD I know! I haven't seen it yet, and I'm planning on watching Frozen and Rise of the Guardians soon. 
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:iconserenityalexandria:
Oh my gosh, I'm trying soo hard to not bust out laughing in class right now! Jane is such a boss!
Reply
:iconyukiminamoto:
YukiMinamoto Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Jane wears the N7 armor in the relationship.

XD You gotta love John's,"What the hell did I get myself into?" attitude towards his wife. He's such a spazz! I love goofy! Commander Shepard. He can kick ass and take names, but he can't go up against an angry wife. :iconlaughingplz:
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:iconserenityalexandria:
Lol! Agreed! :iconherotimeplz:

I see John as the Goofy!paragon :icononionangelplz: and Jane as the Paragade (mostly renagade but paragon enough to have no scars! :icondignitylaughplz: )

:icononionxdplz: John will not be the first nor last to be a "yes dear" Man! :iconlaughingplz:
Reply
:iconyukiminamoto:
YukiMinamoto Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Fu-I KNOW!! Goofy Commander Shepard is adorable!

I think of Jane as a tsundere to her loved ones. She tends to get embarrassed at the slightest flirtations, but shows her love with small snarking and insults.
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:iconserenityalexandria:
I can imagin Male!Shep being goofy and him being as such is how he won his crew over! :iconherotimeplz:

...Tsundere? *Googles it. Then watch vids in YouTube*

Ohhhhhhhhh! :icononionxdplz: Yeah I can see that! Though my Fem!Shep was a snarky softy!

But yeah I can soo see Comander shep having a ton of sore shoulders from Jane!
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:iconyukiminamoto:
YukiMinamoto Feb 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
XD Poor John! And yes, everyone loves his adorable charm. Honestly, he can get so serious when it comes to war and tactics, but is such a clumsy man when it comes to love and intimate relationships.
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:iconbloodbandit:
*takes more notes for future reference* Uh huh. Uh huh. I see. x3
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:iconvideogamernerd:
VideoGamerNerd Jan 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Loved it! :3
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