Dirty Little Secret

I'm 20 years old and I can't drive!

Why.

Why can't I do it?

God, why must I learn how to drive?



I FEEL THE PRESSURE OF EVERYONE FORCING ME HOW TO DRIVE KILLS ME.

And I feel so guilty and a burden to everyone.

You know what, teenagers back in the day 19th century wise, didn't have to deal with driving.

No! Of course not! Nowadays, you have to LEARN how to drive.

It's a horrible fear of mine. I keep having these nightmares of me driving terrible and I'm trying to do a U-turn near a cliff and having the car and me, falling to our deaths.



This reoccurring nightmare, and many others like it:

1. Killing several people with my driving (Including myself)

2. Hitting other cars/trucks.

3. Hitting a tree.

4. Turning too hard at a certain point, making the car skid across the road.

5. Trying to reverse the car, but I lose control and hit a mail box (My step-dad did this in real life, but he was drunk at the time. )

6. Driving the car and I sudden stop out of fear.



Has anyone done this? Has anyone have nightmares about driving? Anyone have any fear of driving?

This strange thing is, is that I've taken a Driver's ED class back when I was a sophomore in high school, I passed *strangely enough* and had a small car indicating that I've passed Driver's ED.

I've felt confident around my driving instructor! It helped my greatly when he told us he had an emergency brake beside him in the passenger seat.

I drove with confidence and I was slightly nervous, but we took the same path and switched it up a bit later on.

But now.....

I lost my mojo.

It's like I've forgotten where my confidence was back then.

Now, I cringe in fear when someone asks me if I'm ready to drive on the road.

I can drive just fine in empty parking lots, but I freeze up when my mom mentions if I can drive in the real road.

It doesn't help AT ALL when she's the one who's teaching me how to drive:

1. Fucking NITPICKS AT EVERYTHING I DO!

2. She usually presses imaginary break pedals in the passenger seat.

3. Nearly screams at me if I do something wrong.

4. She doesn't make me feel confident at all.

5. I would rather have my step-dad or any other person teach me how to drive, even my own grandmother (79 yrs. old).

I also hear that it's HARDER TO LEARN HOW TO DRIVE WHEN YOU GET OLDER?

Is this true? Are there facts to this myth/legend?

- - - -

Also, I currently have my Learner's Permit, but it's going to expire next month on the 24th.

What I'm afraid of is not the test at all, it's the papers I have to get and the vision test.

GOD.

THAT.

DAMN.

VISION TEST.

I dread doing that.

When I was going to get my LP, I recently had three-four-day old glasses, BRAND NEW PEOPLE!

And I saw most of the letters, but it was still hard for me to see the last few.

THEY ARE SO TINY! HOW CAN ANYONE SEE IT?! WHAT THE HELL?!

I HAD BRAND NEW GLASSES WHICH I AVOIDED WEARING THEM UNTIL I DID THE VISION TEST.

I struggled greatly with it.

WTF, is wrong with me?!

Having my own mother see through the vision test and telling me she can see just FINE, just broke me.



God, I hate this.

21st Century my ASS.

Fuck driving.

Stupid vision test.

My life just sucks right now.

Oh, and my second semester of college is going to be starting on the 25th of August.

Yay me.

- - - - - -

Please give me tips on learning how to drive.

Please.

I'm desperate.

At least give me some internet encouragement.

Is that stupid myth true? Do older people have a harder time learning how to drive?

God, someone help me.

T_T